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21. August 2006

"Ne Runde Nonsens"

Und, wer kennt Chuck-Norris-Facts ? Für die einen ist es inzwischen ein nerviger alter Hut, aber einige kennen das sicher noch nicht und mir sind vor ein paar Tagen ein paar neue über den Weg gelaufen die wirklich grandios sind.

Zur Erklärung : Das ganze ist eine Persiflage auf die Unbesiegbarkeit und das Absolut Gute das Chuck Norris in seinen Filmen verkörpert. Nähere Erklärungen zu dem Phänomen der Facts gibts auf Wikipedia.

Und jetzt einfach eine Handvoll von den Dingern bei denen ich mich wirklich auf dem Boden kugeln könnte :

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. (Auf Deutsch : “Wo ist Walter ?”)

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’ PC will crash.

Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win.

Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Mehr von dem Quatsch hier und hier.

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